Google Suffering From Lazyitis

Posted on Jan 11, 2012 in Personal

I used to love Google. Really. I did. I thought she was just about the best thing since sliced bread. Anything I didn’t know I could ask her and she would tell me. In the blink of an eye. Poof, there it was. The whole Internet at my fingertips.

Of course that was when Google was in fact a search engine. Now Google is nothing more than a  lazy fat ass bitch who thinks all I want to do is spy on my mates and see what they’re interested in. Get real Google!

If I want to know if my friends recommend a restaurant, or a holiday company, or a book, or any other damn thing, I will ask them. Not you.

You are not my mate. You are (or were) a search engine. You are supposed to show me completely original, unbiased results when I ask you something. Not just regurgitate what my mates are looking at.

Ok, I know it’s a hard job keeping up with everything that gets posted on the Internet every minute of every day. I know there’s a lot of crap out there and sifting through it just so you can show it to me might be a pain in the arse for you. (Do search engines have arses?) But that’s what you are paid to do.

And you are paid for it. Quite handsomely I might add. Those ‘sponsored links’ you throw in all over the place don’t come cheap. Are you going to remove them considering I’m (supposedly) only interested in seeing what my mates are interested in? Cos I can tell you right now, not a single one of my mates is interested in any of your sponsored listings!

Get off your lazy butt and get back to searching the Internet for what I want and quit relying on my mates to tell you!